Non-binary: What do you understand it to mean?

Banderill

New Member
After being told by a twenty-something that I had somewhat confused transgender and non-binary, I did some reading and realise why. I also realised that sex, gender, sexuality and identity seemed to have become a more open, but equally more complex tapestry than when I was a teenager; although I doubt things were much different then, just that I was simply less aware. Today's teenagers seem much more informed, open and accepting.

Do you understand the difference and do you feel society is more accepting of the differences now than when you were a teenager?

Do you know anywho who identifies as non-binary? Do you see how that choice impacts their day-to-day life and is it positive (creating informative discourse about gender and identity) or negative (people willfully refusing to accept their choice and "labelling" them anyway)?

Interested to hear your thoughts and experiences.
 

AndyRM

Active Member
I'm non-binary and I fully respect the request to conversation. Because it's a bit of a weird one, as I see it.

It's definitely a hard one for folks to get their heads around, because it very much isn't the norm, but it's a thing, and it's who we are. so there's that.

Personally I find it tricky when I'm asked to confirm a gender or sexuality on forms but I do feel that the conversation is moving in a good direction.
 
After being told by a twenty-something that I had somewhat confused transgender and non-binary, I did some reading and realise why. I also realised that sex, gender, sexuality and identity seemed to have become a more open, but equally more complex tapestry than when I was a teenager; although I doubt things were much different then, just that I was simply less aware. Today's teenagers seem much more informed, open and accepting.

Do you understand the difference and do you feel society is more accepting of the differences now than when you were a teenager?

Do you know anywho who identifies as non-binary? Do you see how that choice impacts their day-to-day life and is it positive (creating informative discourse about gender and identity) or negative (people willfully refusing to accept their choice and "labelling" them anyway)?

Interested to hear your thoughts and experiences.

Unsurprisingly (perhaps) I know a fair few non binary folk.

Aside from a few stumblings over pronouns, (but not that often because like all other people I know, I address them by their name) it's just like being with any other person.

Some you gel with , others not so much.

Just as some folk accept the whole non binary thing as a progression of human identity and culture.

Whereas others get all in a lather about it, for some reason, despite it not really affecting them .

All adds to the rich tapestry of human existence in my view.
 

Fab Foodie

Über Member
I’m a liberal lassaiz-faire kind of guy and RRSBB. As long as people's life choices don’t negatively impact on others, then I’m happy that the world is becoming more accepting of those who are otherwise.
I’ve not much of a clue about the various nuances and subdivisions, but understand there are disagreements and conflicts in certain areas. I’m not au fait with the arguments, though currently believe that biological and gendered women in particular have a right to a safe space.
Other than that…live and let live.
 

AuroraSaab

Well-Known Member
If you say you are non-binary, surely you are, by definition, defining yourself in relation to the sex binary? You are immortalising the sex binary not rejecting it. Aren't you saying 'I define myself by not being something' ?

If you think that you don't want to call yourself male or female because you don't feel like you fit in with the stereotypes of what 'male' or 'female' means, isn't it better to join gender critical folks in their efforts to dismantle gender roles altogether (whilst acknowledging that sex matters in some situations)?

Tough being non binary in Spain though ....

186
 

AndyRM

Active Member
If you have male parts, you're male.

If you have female parts, you're female.

It is that simple.

Stop over-complicating things that don't need to be complicated to start with.

It's not a question of over complicating things.

It's a question of rejecting the notion of being binary, whether that be related to gender or sexuality.
 
Here's where my confusion comes in.

How can you 'reject' gender?
 

AndyRM

Active Member
Here's where my confusion comes in.

How can you 'reject' gender?

Fairly easily.

I have "male parts", I'm 6"1', have a beard and I'm covered in tattoos and scars. And a penis.

But I'm not a guy, despite how I look. There are days when I feel like one, but there are also days when I feel very feminine, so I dress and behave according to how I feel.

For me, it's a fluidity thing, which I think is important when it comes to sexuality and relationships.

And I get that it can be confusing, but as I am more than happy to discuss it, though I wouldn't want to speak for everyone.
 

shep

Veteran
Fairly easily.

I have "male parts", I'm 6"1', have a beard and I'm covered in tattoos and scars. And a penis.

But I'm not a guy, despite how I look. There are days when I feel like one, but there are also days when I feel very feminine, so I dress and behave according to how I feel.

For me, it's a fluidity thing, which I think is important when it comes to sexuality and relationships.

And I get that it can be confusing, but as I am more than happy to discuss it, though I wouldn't want to speak for everyone.
What are you then if not a 'Guy'?

I'm genuinly intrigued.
 

shep

Veteran
As long as people's life choices don’t negatively impact on others,
Now here lies the rub, a friend of my missus was round the other day and where she works there's a 'fella ' being transferred to their department that doesn't 'recognise ' himself as a bloke and insists he uses the Women's loo.

As you can imagine (or probably not on here) the other 'Ladies ' aren't very happy about it but they've been told to accommodate him.

Whether this chap is living as woman they don't know as they haven't seen him yet.
 
Now here lies the rub, a friend of my missus was round the other day and where she works there's a 'fella ' being transferred to their department that doesn't 'recognise ' himself as a bloke and insists he uses the Women's loo.

As you can imagine (or probably not on here) the other 'Ladies ' aren't very happy about it but they've been told to accommodate him.

Whether this chap is living as woman they don't know as they haven't seen him yet.

What exactly is the issue for the 'Ladies'?

The new arrival goes into the cubicle, locks the door, does what needs to be done, unlocks and walks out.

Hopefully they wash their hands.
 
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